TABLE OF CONTENTS 

Endorsements ................................................................................i

Acknowledgments ........................................................................ix

Contents ......................................................................................xiii

Foreword ....................................................................................xix

Introduction ...............................................................................xxiii

About This Book ..........................................................................xxiii

About the Authors ........................................................................xxvi

About Love and Logic ..................................................................xxxii

PART 1: LOVE AND LOGIC BASICS

Chapter 1: The Foundation: Parenting with Love and Logic..................3

First Things First: Self-Care...............................................................7

The Four Basic Love and Logic Principles ........................................11

Chapter 2: The Basic Principles: Just What the Doctor Ordered .....17

Principle 1: Build Your Child’s Self-Concept ...................................17

Principle 2: Share the Control .......................................................19

Principle 3: Empathy Before Consequences....................................22

Principle 4: Share the Thinking and Problem Solving .......................31

Chapter 3: Loving Limits: Preparing Kids for the Real World.............37

Developing the Self-Limiting Child ..................................................38

Creativity and Fun Help Children Accept Limits ...............................44

Chapter 4: No More “No!” Avoiding Power Struggles and Arguments ....49

Master the One-Liner ........................................................................51

The Magic of Choices .......................................................................55

Choose Your Words Wisely With Thinking Words ...............................56

Say it With Consequences ................................................................61

The Energy Drain Technique...............................................................62

Problem Solve Together......................................................................64

Encourage Responsibility ..................................................................65

Chapter 5: From the Inside Out: How Children Really Learn from Us....79

Set the Example .............................................................................80

Allow New Experiences....................................................................80

Demonstrate Empathy.....................................................................82

Show Your Expectations .................................................................85

Offer Encouragement ......................................................................88

Chapter 6: Now What? Tips for Parenting from Infancy to Adulthood .....99

The First Years .................................................................................99

Preschool Children ..........................................................................107

Elementary School Years ................................................................113

Pre-Teens and Teenagers ................................................................125

Into Young Adulthood and Beyond ....................................................138

Illness in Adult Children ...................................................................143

Let’s Wrap Up Basic Training ...........................................................148

PART 2: ADVANCED LOVE AND LOGIC APPLICATIONS

Chapter 7: It’s Not Birds and Bees:

Talking with Kids about Life and Death..........................................157

Chapter 8: You’re Not Alone: Psychological Issues

Presented by Medical Challenges.....................................................181

Dealing with the Stages of Grief........................................................182

Childhood Illness and Parental Guilt..................................................184

Illness and Denial ...........................................................................188

Chronic Illness Blurs Wants and Needs ............................................192

Where is the Line Between “Can’t” and “Won’t”? ................................195

Chronic Illness and the Burden of Responsibility ................................200

Over-Reassurance ..........................................................................203

Over-Protection and the Spiral of Hostile Dependency ........................203

Chapter 9: “It’s Not Fair!” Handling Sibling Relationships ....................213

Coping with a Sibling’s Feelings and Behavior.....................................219

Chapter 10: Unique Situations: Developmental Disabilities

and Eating Disorders......................................................................225

Medical Issues and Developmentally Disabled Children ....................225

Bulimia and Anorexia ....................................................................230

Childhood Obesity ........................................................................241

Chapter 11: Caution: Medical Challenges Affect

Marriage and Family Relationships ................................................251

Difficult Situations Strain Coping Skills...........................................251

Difficult Situations are Ripe for Triangulation ...................................252

Chronic Stress and Self-Destructive Choices ..................................254

Communication & Problem-solving Tools for Adult Relationships ......255

Chapter 12: The Final Word..................................................................273

PART 3: BONUS SECTION

Section 1: Love and Logic Quick Tips ..................................................279

Section 2: Inspiring Stories .................................................................285

Section 3: Remembering Heroes .........................................................303

Section 4: Helpful Resources...............................................................307

Section 5: A Note to Professionals ......................................................315

PART 4: APPENDICES

Appendix 1: Endnotes .....................................................................321

Appendix 2: Index ...........................................................................329

Appendix 3: Parenting Children with Health Issues Website Info ..........338

TABLES AND FIGURES

Ch. 4: Table 4.1: Sample Enforceable Statements ..............................57

Ch. 4 : Table 4.2: Logical Consequences ...........................................63

Ch. 4 :Figure 4.1: Power Struggle Paradigm ......................................71

Ch. 5: Table 5.1: Praise vs. Encouragement Statements......................93

Ch. 6: Figure 6.1: Oral Cycle of Bonding ..........................................101

Ch. 6; Figure 6.2: Disruptions in the Bonding Cycle ..........................102

Ch. 6: Table 6.1: Types of Parents ..................................................116

Ch. 8: Figure 8.1: Cycle of Overprotection ........................................205